Crush
by silkendreammaid
Summary: When Edward was growing up, he had a crush on Hawkeye. Now's he's grown up and back. EdRiza. Chapter 4: Settling In
1. Reunion

**Crush**

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor ever will, Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters within.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Reunion**

It was one of his most secret thoughts. He never told anyone, not even his brother. It was just too secret, too precious to share. And it was hopeless. He knew that. He had always known that. From the moment he understood what it was that he was feeling, he had known just exactly how hopeless it was. But it hadn't stopped him and he had kept it deep inside his heart, completely without hope, without even wishing for it to be fulfilled.

Edward Elric had a crush on Riza Hawkeye.

As he grew up, he had watched her, seen the rare smiles she gave, the strict control she kept over herself and others. And he had seen the protectiveness she had for the Colonel. It would have been easy to hate the Colonel for that, but her respect for Mustang made him reconsider. He didn't think anyone she held in such high regard could be all that bad. Mustang never knew just how much that knowledge saved him from a lot of Fullmetal tantrums.

She was the only one who had seen him break and it had shamed him at the time. He had found yet another dead end and had laid his head on his arms in a corner of an empty office, for once not trying to pretend that every failure did not hurt him. And she had heard his muffled sobs. He had expected her to tell him to be strong, to continue, to go forward but she had simply placed her hand on his shoulder and said nothing as he had continued to cry into his crossed arms. Her presence had calmed him and she had offered him a large, almost masculine handkerchief and a sincere smile afterwards. She hadn't asked and he hadn't spoken. But she had known and so had he. Sometimes having a goal made you the loneliest person you knew.

As the years had passed, he had watched and felt his initial crush fade slightly and other feelings had surfaced; respect and friendship. She had rarely treated him as a child. She had never talked down to him. And she had never denied him the right to feel the guilt and responsibility for his actions. And when the time came for him to finally achieve his goals, she was the only one who asked for no justifications.

He said goodbye to Mustang with a slapped hand and words. He could only stare at her for the briefest moment.

* * *

Four years is a long time and Edward found himself both lost and found in this world on the other side of the Gate. He never saw her face in any of those he recognized. He wasn't sure if that disappointed him or not. And as time passed, he stopped actively looking. She faded to the back of his mind. She had been the dream of his youth, the unfulfilled hope that you could look back on and never regret.

He had never known if she had known of his feelings and he found himself grateful to have not known. She had had goals and her own dreams and he had never wanted to distract her from any of them. There was a small niche in his heart and she lodged there, along with all the other impossible dreams.

The longer he stayed here, the hungrier he became to return home. He studied and learned, he made friends and acquaintances and he made a place for himself even as he sought to leave it. Returning to Al, to know if he had succeeded or not became more than his goal, it became his obsession.

* * *

Obsession was not healthy he decided as he fell from the sky.

He heard the despairing cry of his brother and the curses from Mustang as he dropped. The wind tore at his clothes and hair and he smiled as he looked upwards and saw the craft disappear into the projected array above it. He watched as it imploded and the array and fireball disappeared with a loud crack and blinding flash. He was so grateful Mustang had kept his word and held onto Al, stopping him from following him. He knew their combined alchemy would protect them and return them to the ground safely.

He had always flown so high. He had fallen before and had always managed to stand up afterwards. But not this time. This time the price would have to be paid and paid in full. And he had no regrets now. Al was whole and well and everything he had ever wanted. Restoring Al had been his life's work, there was nothing more he wanted.

And Al would not be alone. Everyone would be there for him. Al had built a life for himself while Ed had been gone and he would go on. Edward smiled. His brother was worth everything he had ever sacrificed.

Edward was almost disappointed when he survived the fall.

He almost drowned getting out of the very deep puddle he landed in. He sank straight to the bottom and the blue sparking of an alchemic reaction flickered around him and the water began to recede as the ground rose up. He dragged himself to the edge of the depression and was hoisted up by the very large man who nearly broke his ribs in a massive bear-hug.

"Major…please...my ribs…Major." Edward squeaked as it became difficult to breathe.

"Ahh my apologies, young Edward, but I was overcome by the moment. To have come so close to losing you, I am humbled that my small efforts have succeeded." Alex Louis Armstrong let him go and Edward staggered.

The weight of saturated clothes and the sudden weakness in his knees brought him to the ground and he sat there, looking up. The sky was suddenly a long way away. His eyes seemed to have trouble focusing and words were getting jumbled as people began speaking around him.

"Icarus isn't supposed to survive." He mumbled as he slumped in a boneless faint into someone's arms.

* * *

Riza Hawkeye looked at the young man in her arms and felt the water from him soaking through her uniform. She looked up at the small group around her. Armstrong, Havoc and Fuery. Pounding footsteps came running and Al was suddenly there, pushing his way past to kneel beside his brother. Mustang came up behind him, a surprisingly gentle smile on his face.

Al stared at Edward's face, his hand reaching out tentatively to brush across the pale forehead. The unnatural pallor of his brother's face terrified him but now he could see the rise and fall of his chest and hear him breathe. He was cool to the touch and Al had to bite his lip hard to stop himself from crying.

"He's only fainted, Alphonse." Hawkeye's voice was gentle. "We need to get him somewhere more comfortable and into some dry clothes as well." She added in her usual calm manner.

"I'll carry him, Lieutenant." Armstrong said as he knelt beside them and he gently lifted the unconscious young man from Riza's lap. Al stood up, looking almost resentful that he couldn't carry his brother and Riza hid her smile as she began to rise. A gloved hand in front of her face made her blink and she looked up to see Roy Mustang smiling at her as he offered his hand to help. She shook her head slightly as she took his hand and let him pull her up. His being here was yet another miracle.

"Winry's around somewhere." Al said suddenly. "She's going to want to know about this."

"I think that ditzy bookworm is with her." Havoc said laconically as he rolled an unlit cigarette between his lips. "Falman's around. He'll probably pick them up on his way."

"Where do we take him?" Breda asked. They looked at each other.

"My place." Hawkeye said and they all turned to look at her. She raised an eyebrow at their surprised faces. She sighed. "You all live in the dorms and my apartment is close by. I do have a spare room he can stay in and Alphonse can stay there too." There was the faintest hint of an eye roll and pitying glance behind her words that they wisely chose to ignore.

They began to walk through the devastated streets and Riza found Roy at her side. She said nothing, although she was pleased to have him back in Central. He should never have left it. His self-imposed exile had been a grave error on his part, she thought and she had been rather disappointed in him. Through all the years they had known each other, she had seen the insecurities he had always hidden, and the loss of his goals and his eye had brought them all out and he had taken himself away from everything to pay what he saw as the prices for his failures.

She had once thought that one day they might mean more to each other than just close friends, but it had never eventuated. He had left and she had stayed. She was glad to see him back and hoped that he could be persuaded to take his rightful place in this new regime but there was nothing more for her now. And she found herself not regretting its disappearance. She was always going to love Roy Mustang. But it was never going to be in the way a woman loves the man she was made for.

"Edward's not the only one who needs a change of clothes." Roy said in an amused voice.

"Another reason why my place is the most practical solution," Riza replied as she felt the cold wetness of her trousers slapping against her legs. Goosebumps rose under the material and she could feel the water slipping down into her boots.

"Now that he is back, I should return as well." Roy said contemplatively as he looked ahead to the others.

"You should." Riza said without hesitation. He turned his head and looked at her profile.

"And would you follow me again?" he asked.

"Of course." She stated without looking at him. "Someone has to keep you in line…Sir." Her lips curled slightly in a small smile and he smiled in return.

* * *

Edward took a deep breath and opened his eyes slowly. He blinked a few times before he realised he was being carried by Major Armstrong and he weakly shifted in the large man's arms.

"I can walk, Major." He said, trying for a strong tone but was surprised at how faded he seemed to be.

"I think not, Edward. Let us wait until you are more recovered from your ordeal." Armstrong replied. "And I am no longer a Major. I resigned my commission three years ago."

"But all that family tradition…?" Edward began to say, stunned by Armstrong's words.

"Tradition is a great and worthy ideal, but compassion and a willingness to help those who were sorely treated by the military is a more worthy cause. It has been my great privilege to serve the people of Liore in the rebuilding of their fine city these past years."

Edward stared at him. Still overwhelmingly noble and sentimental he thought. Armstrong was a good man. He had known that four years ago. And Edward knew it again as he carried him to wherever they had decided.

Al walked beside them and looked over occasionally as if to reassure himself that Ed was really back and wasn't going to disappear any time soon. He had nearly lost him again and Al was still shaking inside at how close it had been. The last few days had been a series of shocks, one after the other and he needed to slow down and stop for a while. With Ed back, he was hoping that they would be able to just sit and be together. That brief moment they had shared through the Gate had not been anywhere near long enough.

The shrieks that denoted they had been found by Winry and Schieska echoed around the empty street. Falman walked sedately behind them. Al watched, bemused as Winry tried to hug Edward. Armstrong stood still but did not put his burden down.

"I was so worried, Edward! I thought you weren't coming back. You better not have damaged my automail. You're soaking wet! Are you sure you're ok? Why can't you walk?" Winry let loose and Ed simply waited until she needed to take a breath.

"_My _automail is fine and I fell into a puddle. I'm fine, ok. You don't have to worry about me." Ed hadn't planned on coming back, but he wasn't about to admit to that. He hadn't planned on a few things, like still being alive, let alone still being here.

Al opened his mouth to add to Ed's reply but Ed caught his eye and he closed his mouth again. They both were well aware of how Winry would react to what had happened and it wasn't something that they wanted everyone else to see. And Ed did look tired, Al thought. Winry was so excitable at times. It almost made him tired to watch her sometimes.

"Where are we going?" Ed asked in an attempt to change the conversation.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye has offered her apartment as a temporary lodging for you." Armstrong said and Ed blinked.

"Hawkeye? Why?" And then winced at how abrupt he sounded.

"Because it's close by, Brother. And you really need to change." Al said and Ed grimaced at his wet clothes.

"I could just…"

"No, Edward." Winry stated. "You need a proper shower and cleaning up. Your hair is a mess."

Edward rolled his eyes but he didn't argue further. The thought of a long hot shower sounded very pleasant. He leant back against Armstrong and watched as they began to discuss what clothes to get for him.

He smiled. It was so good to see them all. They didn't look any different. Slightly older, slightly rounder, he decided as he looked at Breda. But Havoc still had that unlit cigarette at the corner of his mouth and Fuery still pushed his glasses up with that deprecating manner that hid his intelligence. Falman was appearing human as he walked with Schieska and they debated the legal ramifications of Ed's return. Ed grinned, he hadn't seen Falman this animated since that time on the train. He could hear low voices and knew Mustang and Hawkeye were behind them. But his eyes kept straying to Al.

Now he had time to appreciate his brother. The long hair and that damned coat. The higher pitched voice disputing with Winry over some stupid moment in their childhood. He smiled slightly. Everything he had done since that dreadful night all those years ago had been for one thing. And it was truly beautiful.

He closed his eyes, keeping his eyelids shut tight and forcing the threatening tears away. He wasn't about to cry here, not with everyone around him. He opened his eyes and found Armstrong watching him. The man gave him a small smile and his eyes flicked to Al and back as he nodded.

"You did well there. Your brother is a miracle we are all proud of." The big man said in a quiet voice as he slowed his pace slightly to avoid being overheard by the others.

"It was all I ever wanted," Ed replied equally softly.

"You succeeded and we are proud of you too, Edward." Armstrong smiled.

Edward shook his head. "All I did was bring him back, you gave him a place and a family." He swallowed. "You're the ones that saved him."

"Because we always knew you'd come back to him, Edward."

His head whipped around and he found himself looking at Riza Hawkeye.

"I had to come back, you would have killed me if I hadn't, Hawkeye." He remarked. His eyes watched as she walked beside them. Her hair was up in its clip and the strong face didn't appear to have aged since he had last seen it. Seeing her was like affirming he really was back. She was simply too unique to have a shadowy facsimile on the other side.

"And she would have too, Ed." Mustang appeared beside her and studied the young man as he grinned in response. He could see the tiredness in his face and the way the golden eyes kept flicking to Al. He had known as Ed had fallen that he hadn't expected to survive. To have seen him lying, merely fainted, on the ground had been a great relief. It had been difficult to hold Al back from following his brother into that strange craft, and it had been nearly impossible to control him as they had watched Ed fall amidst the debris. Only as they had seen the ever-increasing pool of water appear beneath him, had they had any hope for his survival. Roy still wasn't quite sure how they had managed to return to the ground as quickly as they had.

"Nearly there, Edward." Hawkeye said and he turned to look at her. She saw him shiver again.

"You don't have to do this, Hawkeye. Al and I can find somewhere else."

"Edward, it will take time to make other arrangements. And given what has happened today, people are going to be very busy with other matters. You are welcome to stay at my apartment until the necessary decisions are made."

"But…"

"Don't argue with her, Ed. Trust me, you will never win." Mustang smirked.

"I believe your opinion was not solicited, Corporal Mustang." Hawkeye said firmly and Edward started laughing at the suddenly disconcerted look on Mustang's face. His laugh turned into a cough and Hawkeye's cool hand was at his forehead and Al was looking at him anxiously by the time he finally managed to bring it under control. He took a deep breath and felt the small tickle threaten at the back of his throat, but he swallowed hard.

"We need to get you out of those wet clothes, Brother." Al stared at him and Ed could see how worried he was.

"You're slightly warm, Edward." Hawkeye said and she looked at his face. It was slightly flushed from the coughing fit but she didn't think he had a fever. She looked at Al. "Al, here's my keys, go ahead with Havoc and open up and get the hot water started. He just needs to get warm, that's all."

She fished out her keys and handed them to him. He looked at them and then at Ed.

"Go. I'll be fine, Al." Ed shivered slightly and Al's eyes widened as he noticed it.

"Don't you get sick on me, Brother." He ordered before he turned away to find Havoc at his side and they began to run to Hawkeye's apartment. Ed watched and saw them disappear into a small building at the end of the street and he held back the relieved sigh that it really wasn't that far away. The cold was starting to seep into his bones.

"And make sure you take no chances either, Riza." Ed heard Mustang tell her and his forehead creased in a puzzled frown. He looked at Hawkeye and saw a wry expression cross her face at the commanding tone. Ed started to smile, he remembered that tone too but then he blinked. Hawkeye's uniform was wet.

"I won't."

"How did you get wet, Hawkeye?" he asked.

"The Lieutenant caught you when you fainted, Edward." Armstrong informed him simply and Edward frowned. He remembered looking up at the sky and then it was blank until he has woken up and found himself getting carried by Armstrong. He didn't remember passing out at all. His face suddenly felt a bit warm.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise…"

"Edward, it's ok. I'm not as wet as you are and I couldn't let you hit the pavement." She waved a hand to the steps in front of them that led into the building. "We are here now, so you will get into the bathroom and take as long as you need."

"But you have to get dried too." Ed protested and struggled to sit up in Armstrong's arms.

"And I will, don't worry about it." She smiled at him as she went past to open the door to her apartment. He frowned.

Al was waiting and began hovering around Ed as soon as he entered the room. Ed had no chance to look around as Al almost dragged Armstrong and his cargo to the bathroom.

"I can shower on my own," he told Al as his brother turned on the taps before Armstrong had even put Ed down.

"Here are a few extra towels. Take as long as you need," Hawkeye said as she appeared in the doorway and Ed reached across, his hands pressing together and he managed to brush his fingers on her shoulder. The resultant crackle startled her and her eyes went wide before she controlled her expression and frowned at him as she realised her uniform was now dry.

He met her eyes with a stubborn stare. "Thank you for the towels," was all he said and she nodded.

"You're welcome." She turned and left the room with a contemplative look in her eyes.

Alex let Ed slip to the floor and Ed straightened up, his legs feeling a bit wobbly. Steam was slowly filling the bathroom and he looked at his brother.

"I'll be fine Al. I'm not going anywhere, ok?"

"I know. It's just… I nearly lost you again." He said and his lips twitched. Ed wrapped his arms around him and held him for a moment before letting go. "Now go, or I'll get Armstrong to carry you out."

Alex beamed at them. "Come, young Alphonse. Let us depart and grant your brother some privacy for his ablutions. We must address the matter of his replacement clothes."

Ed struggled not to laugh at the look of horror on Al's face as Armstrong laid a large hand on his shoulder and propelled him from the room. As soon as the door closed, he grabbed one of the towels and buried his face in it, using it to muffle his laughter.

* * *

Riza Hawkeye looked at everyone crowding into her apartment and took a deep breath. She wasn't used to having to having so many people in her home and it was slightly unnerving. The whole day so far had been unsettling on so many levels and she knew she would need some time later to assimilate it all.

She looked across at Al. He was smiling and so obviously happy at having his brother back. She noticed he would look around every so often to see if Ed had reappeared. They were all smiling. Even Roy. How many years had it been since she had seen him look this relaxed? Too many. He seemed to be having a spirited discussion with Havoc involving a bed and Breda was being dragged into it as well.

Fuery seemed to be holding his own in a conversation with Winry and she wondered how he was managing that. Falman stood nearby, obviously listening and Riza could see the small smile that he couldn't quite conceal. Schieska and Alex were keeping Al distracted as best they could.

She had known all of these people for so many years. She knew them so well, better than she knew herself sometimes. Edward's return and the events of the last days had brought them all back. It had reminded them of what they had had; of what they had once been. She knew she hadn't felt quite this alive for some time.

"Havoc and Breda are going to get another bed." Roy suddenly spoke beside her and she blinked in surprise. She hadn't noticed him approach.

"Another bed?" She frowned. The spare room already had two beds in it, even if one was more a camp cot than a bed.

"Yes. They've decided that the cot really isn't suitable and gone to get a proper bed. Along with some more clothes for Ed as well." He looked at her. "Are you sure you want to have them here?"

"Yes." She looked up at him and studied him for a moment. "You know you would have offered if you'd had the space."

He gave her a sharp look before he nodded with a wry expression. "But I'm back to a dorm now, so it's not possible."

"I don't think you'll be there for much longer." She remarked.

"It depends on how they view my return. It would be just as easy for them to condemn me for deserting my post as it would be for them to promote me for being here."

"Do you seriously believe that? I think they are going to be too worried at a re-occurrence of this to be overly concerned with a case of possible desertion."

"Possibly." He spoke with an obvious hesitance. "I have been …isolated for too long. I don't know how the system works these days."

She laid a hand on his arm and looked at him. "It's still the military, Roy. It's a system that rarely changes. Despite the upheavals, the military always finds its stability in clinging to its traditions. The world has changed around it, but the military hasn't."

"People still change, Riza."

* * *

Edward saw them as he entered the room. His hair was pulled back in a damp tail and he had a long sleeved shirt and pants on that he had found on the bed in the spare room. He wasn't sure where they had scrounged them from but it was a relief to be in clean clothes and to feel warm all the way through again. He had dragged his socks out of his dirty clothes and alchemically cleaned them as best he could. He wasn't about to go walking around with his automail scraping up the floor with every step.

Hawkeye was still in her uniform he noticed, but she had taken her boots off and had socks on her feet. They were obviously deep in a conversation and he stared again at the patch on Mustang's face. It was incredible how different it made the bastard look. He watched as Mustang placed a hand over hers. Something twitched inside him and he looked away. His nose suddenly itched and he sneezed. When he looked up again, Al was hurrying to his side and everyone was looking at him.

"Shower's free," he said, stating the obvious and trying not to let their stares get to him, even if they were all smiling.

"Sit down, Brother." Al pointed at the couch and Ed couldn't refuse the look in his brother's eyes. He did refuse the blanket that Al wanted him to wrap him in. And he refused the very milky coffee Winry brought over and insisted on it being black, if he had to drink it at all.

Al sat on one side of him with Winry the other and he found himself trapped between them. He saw Hawkeye disappearing towards the bathroom and he looked around the rest of them as they all came closer.

"Where's Havoc and Breda?" he asked.

'They've gone to get you a bed and some more clothes," Al replied as he stared at his brother.

"They don't need to do that." Ed protested.

"Apparently they do. You can't sleep on that cot bed." Mustang said as he sat down in one of the armchairs.

"I've slept on worse. It looked fine to me." Ed told him. Anything looked good right now as he could feel the lethargy of being warm and comfortable starting to hit him as he leant back against the couch. But he could see it around him, that expectant questioning look. The one that wanted to know exactly what had happened today and all the days of the last four years. It was in all of their eyes.

He held back a sigh. He could have waited until tomorrow for the storytelling. Tonight he just wanted to know he was back, that he wasn't going to find this all to be a dream. To be reunited with the people he had missed, and to know they weren't the reflections he had finally reconciled himself to seeing on the other side.

When the others returned, he was going to have to talk. 

* * *

Author's Note: I've had this half started for a while now, but my dragon just wasn't wanting to play, so I dragged this out to distract myself with. I know I have a lot of other stories in progress, and this will slip into the schedule somewhere. It won't get lost…

And I have made Edward stay four years on the other side of the Gate and then incorporated the movie.

enjoy

silken :)

Edited 21/3/08... ffnet deleted my line breaks and I am working to replace them... please forgive any delays this causes 


	2. Stories To Tell

**Crush**

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor ever will, Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters within

* * *

**Chapter 2: Stories To Tell**

Edward shifted on the couch, his arm brushing against his brother's. He leant against him slightly, and turned his head to meet Al's smile with one of his own. He was half afraid that this moment would disappear on him. That he was merely dreaming and he would wake up back in the dingy set of rooms he shared with Alfons. His eyes dimmed slightly and he looked around the room.

These were the people he had longed for during the last four years. These were the faces he had wanted to see. The _real_ faces he had known and missed so badly. The voices he remembered without the accent he had become used to hearing. And the faces he had never seen on the other side, only in his memories. Winry, Mustang, Hawkeye, he hadn't seen their doubles. They had remained unique for him.

He had seen the others, sometimes their faces caught out the corner of his eye had slammed him straight back into memories of the place he most wanted to be, but knew he was never going to return to. It had been part of the price paid for Al's return and he had paid it, he would have kept on paying it. The cost of being back here had been high. He bit his lip.

"Hey Al, come with me," he murmured softly to his brother and stood up. Al looked up at him, a slight frown on his face. "It's just for a moment." Ed added, but his eyes were sombre. Al nodded slowly and stood up to follow as Ed moved away.

"Where are you going, Ed?" Winry asked.

"Just to the room for a bit." Ed replied non-committally, hoping she wouldn't push.

"I'll come too," she smiled at him but he shook his head.

"No Winry." He paused not quite wanting to be too rude. "I just need Al." He nearly sighed as he saw the emotions flicker across her face. He had seen them so many times before. Her exasperation that they were excluding her again, and her acceptance because she knew how close they were to each other.

Ed slipped into the spare room, Al close behind him. He smiled and they sat on the bed, shifting back until they were both sitting with their backs against the wall.

"What is it, Brother?"

Ed's smile disappeared. Al knew him well.

"They're going to want me to talk and I really don't want to just yet. I know I have to and it's probably better to get it out of the way now I guess." He looked at his hands. "But there's something I need to tell you before everyone else finds out."

Al leant closer. He could hear it in his brother's voice. The soft, almost apologetic tones. Ed had something to say, it was going to hurt and Ed was going to say it anyway. Because Ed had promised to always tell him the truth. Because Ed had always told him the truth.

"It's about Dad." Ed said after a small pause.

"You said you met him over there." Al remarked. "And that he did those prosthetics for you."

"Yes. I spent a couple of years living with him." Ed looked across the room, his eyes unfocused. "I guess he wasn't a bad Dad after all. I really don't know what I would have done without him there at the beginning. He was the only one I could talk to."

"Talking? You and Dad?" Al sounded amused and Ed bumped his arm against Al's.

"Ok, so maybe it wasn't talking at first." He groused. "But after a while it got better between us. And he helped get me across to Germany to where you came that time."

"He didn't have anything to do with them, did he?" Al asked, looking at his brother. He saw Ed sigh and the golden head nod.

"Yeah. He got caught up with them." Ed took a breath and turned to meet Al's eyes. "He's dead, Al. There's no easy way to say this. He died just before the array activated." Ed swallowed as he remembered the blood falling, screaming.

"Dead?" Al's voice was a thin whisper and Ed turned completely, wrapping his arms around his brother. He could feel Al shaking and just kept holding him, for once not trying to fill the silence with words. He didn't start speaking until he began to feel the wetness seeping into his shirt.

"He was proud of you. He said he was glad he had the chance to talk with you that time in Resembool. He never told me what you said back then, but he said he was more than proud that you were his son." Ed blinked and struggled to keep his voice even. Al had never hated Hohenheim like his brother had. Despite everything that had happened Al had kept a simple child-like faith in his father. Ed had seen Lieutenant-Colonel Hughes as more of a father figure than he had Hohenheim. Al had always known that only Hohenheim was his Dad even though Maes Hughes had come close.

Ed rubbed his left hand up and down Al's back and let him cry silently. Ed kept his breathing even and his self-control tight. He couldn't break down at the moment. Not when he knew they were all out there waiting to hear everything. Not when Al needed him.

"How… how did he die?" Al asked between sniffles.

Ed paused a moment. "To open the Gate…it was part of the price paid."

"You didn't tell me this earlier." Al stated and Ed could hear no blame in the wavering voice. But that didn't stop him from feeling it.

"There hasn't been time to tell you until now, and it's not something I could just shout out, you know." Es said apologetically.

"Wrath… did the same." Al said slowly after a small pause and Ed's breath caught. He had never really liked the young homunculus, but he knew how Teacher had felt about him.

"Teacher?"

Al shook his head. "She died eighteen months ago." Al felt Ed's arms go tight and the sudden stop of his breathing. For a long moment he could feel Ed struggling for control. And then Ed took a long shuddering breath and he shook briefly.

"…gonna miss her." Ed mumbled against Al's head.

"I still do." Al replied. "She…she always believed you'd come back one day."

"You were here. Of course I'd come back."

"If…if the Gate hadn't opened…" Al couldn't finish the sentence. Ed took a deep breath.

"Without them, it wouldn't have opened. Dad knew that. It's why…why he died." Ed swallowed. "He took Envy with him."

"_Envy_?" Al reared back, his eyes wide and his voice a shocked hiss. "That…that... _Envy was there_?"

"Al…"

"You know what he did to you, Ed!" Al pulled Ed close and held him tight as images spun through his mind. "Brother… I can't …that night when he killed you. If he hadn't… if he hadn't done that… I wouldn't have… you…none of this would have happened." Al's voice was bleak and he shook.

"I know, Al. I know." Ed almost smiled, he had long accepted the sacrifices he had made that night, but Al was only just remembering these things again. "You know as well as I do, that some prices just have to be paid. We paid them. You can't change what happened. I know it's been a long wait, but we are here now, Al. I never expected to come back and I don't intend leaving again." Ed pulled back slightly as Al's grip eased and settled his brother's head at his shoulder.

"You'd better not." Al took a deep breath. "I'm glad you told me about Dad, Brother."

"It's ok. I had to tell you before I told the others." His voice changed. "But no mention of Envy or anything else like that. They really don't need to know."

"I agree." Al nodded. "The sooner I can forget that night, the better."

"You and me both, Brother." Ed replied.

But they both knew they would never forget the night they had both found and then lost each other.

* * *

Riza let her breath out silently, her eyes wide and startled. Edward had died? He had been killed? Out of all she had just heard, out of all that had happened today, that seemed to be the most unbelievable thing.

She had come to get them, to tell them that Havoc and Breda were back and found the door to their room slightly ajar. She had heard Al tell Edward about their Teacher and paused, unwilling to break in. She knew how much their Teacher had meant to them. She had seen Al's reaction at the funeral and that had been while he had been unable to remember everything about her.

She knew neither would want to have everyone staring at them as they exchanged this sort of news and when Ed mentioned their father's death, she had taken a deep breath and decided that everyone could wait. Having this moment of privacy was something they needed. They could take as long as they needed.

She had turned to go back when Envy had been mentioned and it was Al's tone of voice that had halted her mid-step. And then Al had continued on and she had been dipped in ice with his words. Edward had been killed? When had all this happened? Exactly what had happened? Who was Envy? Too many possibilities sprung to mind. Riza was familiar with alchemy and its uses. She had been around alchemists and the Elrics in particular to know more than she needed about how it could be used, and used in all the wrong ways. Just what had those two gone and done?

She agreed with Edward. The others did not need to know, and despite her own curiousity, she would help ensure no-one asked the wrong questions. She knew herself well enough to know that she would piece it together as she always did, from what was said and what wasn't. She knew this was not an occasion where her usual demanding to know was going to be suitable. Edward was the stubbornest person she had ever met and on matters like this he would more reticent than normal.

"Are they coming?" Winry's voice broke through her thoughts and she blinked to see the blonde mechanic walking towards her.

"I think they're still talking." Riza said casually. "We can wait a bit longer."

"Well, I can't." Winry remarked easily and kept walking. Riza's hand landed on Winry's forearm.

"Leave them, Winry." Her voice was still level but her eyes flickered slightly. "Let them have a bit longer to themselves. They really haven't had any time to just be together today."

Winry hesitated. Riza Hawkeye was not someone you ignored and she always spoke calmly, even when she was shooting at you. As Winry had witnessed on several occasions. If it had been anyone else standing there, Winry would have argued with them. But Winry had always respected the blunt honesty of the First Lieutenant. She had never treated her as a child. She had always answered any question as best she could and Winry was aware of that. Riza Hawkeye was someone she looked up to.

Winry sighed and her shoulders slumped slightly. Hawkeye was right and Winry knew it. Neither brother would appreciate being interrupted just yet. Even though they wouldn't say anything, Winry knew they wouldn't be happy if she broke in before they were ready.

"We'll keep the others from disturbing them," Riza said as she saw the younger woman's expression change into acceptance. Winry brightened at that. Riza nearly smiled. She knew how possessive Winry could get regarding the Elrics. They were her family and Winry Rockbell was very protective of her family.

Winry smiled and they walked back into the living area to distract the others from the non-appearance of the Elrics.

"We should do something really good for Hawkeye, Brother." Al whispered from just behind the door. Ed grinned at him and nodded. They had heard everything and were relieved that Hawkeye had stopped Winry from entering. Much as they loved her, some things were just too private to share.

"Hawkeye must have heard us talking." Ed mused, slightly resigned as he moved back onto the bed.

"She won't say anything," Al remarked, settling down beside Ed again. "And you know she never pries."

"She never has to." Ed replied. "But she won't ask either."

"I don't mind her knowing, Brother. I don't think she heard much anyway."

"You trust her with this, Al?" Ed queried, meeting his brother's eyes.

"Yes."

"Good." Ed smiled. "So do I."

* * *

It was nearly an hour before they reappeared in the main living area and Winry wasted no time in dragging them back to the couch. Al and Ed shared a wry grin. They had taken advantage of knowing Hawkeye would stop anyone from bothering them and spent the extra time talking quietly and just enjoying being together.

No-one had objected, Hawkeye had made sure of that with a few simple words and a firm look. And it was obvious that it had helped them to have been apart for that little while. They were at ease with each other. Al was calmer and Ed looked more relaxed. The need for reassuring each other had lessened. Although they both knew that it would be a few days before they would be willing to be too far apart without worrying that they'd never see the other again.

Ed looked around at them all and took a breath. It was hard to know where to begin. Did he start with that night four years ago, or with the mayhem that had broken out today? He knew he'd have to speak about both. Even though so many years had passed, these people were still his friends. They deserved to know as much of the truth as he would give them.

"Start at the beginning, Edward." Riza said quietly as she sat in her chair. Her legs were folded under her and she was in casual slacks and a loose buttoned shirt. Ed had never seen her out of uniform, he had to blink before he nodded.

"We didn't expect it to be four years before we saw you again when we parted that day." Mustang said from the other chair.

"Neither did I," Ed replied honestly. "But it got a bit tricky in there and …well, once Al was back, the reaction sent me somewhere else."

"How tricky?" Mustang queried. "You found the Stone I assume, because you couldn't have restored Al without it."

Ed and Al shared a quick look. "Yes we found it and we used it. But we... equivalent exchange…" Ed stopped to think for a moment. He frowned. "There's a place between, a Gate where alchemy and equivalent exchange are sourced. It's hard to explain and it's not something that can leave this room." He looked at them all and saw them nod. "To get Al back, part of the exchange was for me to go through that Gate."

"And the other side of this Gate, that's where that strange craft and those armoured soldiers came from." Mustang said with a raised eyebrow and Ed nodded.

"Yes. There is no alchemy on that side. It's all math and sciences I've never seen before."

"And you studied them." Mustang didn't have to question that.

"Of course." Ed grinned. Research was as necessary as breathing to him.

"So you could reproduce that craft that flies." Mustang said blandly and their eyes met.

"No." Ed replied without hesitation. There was no way he was going to bring powered flight to his homeland. Especially not for military purposes. "It requires things we don't have here." Ed kept his voice firm and they stared at each other for a long moment.

"Good." Mustang suddenly smiled and Ed blinked. The bastard had never smiled at him like that before. And Edward was very certain that Mustang knew Ed was lying, and they both knew they would discuss it later.

"That Gate thing can't be opened again, can it?" Fuery asked.

Ed shook his head. "Not from their side anymore."

"Nor this side," Al said.

"You closed it?" Ed turned to him.

"Yes, it's gone." He said no more but Ed nodded. If Al said it was gone, then gone it was. Details could wait for when they had time to consider them.

"But what if someone draws that transmutation circle? Won't that open it?" Breda queried.

"No. That array was not complete, other things are needed to open the Gate using that array." Ed's eyes were sombre. "Trying that array without them would kill you."

"What other things?" Fuery asked curiously.

"Something akin to the Stone, blood...other things." Ed said slowly and Fuery paled.

"Enough, Fuery. That information we'll keep to ourselves." Mustang said. "If they ask, and they will, all you know is that the array is flawed and will backfire on anyone attempting it."

"Yes, Sir."

"Tell us about the other side, Edward." Riza made the request as Fuery's face was still pale. Distraction was what he needed, what they all needed. She was putting two and two together and getting at least six. The few words she had overheard and what Edward had just revealed seemed to fit neatly together.

Edward was being careful in what he said, she noted. He was describing things and places, he wasn't speaking of what he had done or who he had been with. She wondered how much he was withholding to protect them. They all knew there would be an enquiry and several investigations into today's events. Plausible deniability was going to be important and Ed would know that. As did Mustang. She watched him refrain from asking questions several times.

Edward had changed in the four years he had been gone. He looked his age now, she realised although his eyes looked older still. He had always had old eyes, for as long as she had known him, she had seen that. Thinner in his face and with his hair pulled back in that high tail, he reminded her strongly of his father. Comparing what she remembered Hohenheim to look like, Ed was startling similar now. It was easy to imagine what he would look like as he got older still.

There was a depth to him now. He was quieter although she saw flashes of the old Edward. It was going to take a while for him to adjust to being back here, she thought as she listened to him talking. Being without alchemy or automail must have been hard on him even though he was trying to pass it off at the moment.

Winry and Fuery began to ask more questions about the appliances and mechanical devices that other world had contained. She smiled and saw Ed grin as well as he answered them patiently. He leant against Al and she could almost see the bond between them reappearing. She wondered if their old inseparability would return or if they would find new ground for their closeness. Four years had changed them both and it was bound to have some effect on them.

Roy Mustang watched Ed as he spoke. The loud-mouthed brat had gone and a slightly reserved young man sat there now. They would have to have a private talk sometime in the next few days and he knew Ed was aware of that. It might be rather interesting he thought; to sit and actually hold a conversation rather than to indulge in one of their usual shouting matches. He knew Ed would lose the reserve over the next few days as he settled back in to being home again. But there were shadows in his eyes and Ed was never going to be the same as he had been. The boy had seen too much, the young man had been though even more. Sometimes he wondered how Edward had managed to stay sane with all he had seen and done in his short life.

"But what about you, Ed? What did you do there?" Winry asked. "What about your Dad? He made you those prosthetics you said. Not bad, really, but nothing to compare to automail."

"Dad... I stayed with him for a couple of years and then I moved across to another place, Germany. I got involved in studying and things. I shared a set of rooms with… Alfons." Ed smiled slightly. "Alfons Heiderich was my best friend. We studied together. He had these ideas for making things fly. Rockets mainly. I thought… I thought they'd help me find a way back here so I studied them with him." Roy and Riza both saw the shadows shift in his eyes and Al pressed closer to his brother, feeling the slight tremor that had gone through him.

Edward spoke carefully. He wasn't sure if they would believe him if he told them of Noa's abilities and he wasn't about to mention the dragon.

He spoke of being there the first time the Thule society had tried to invade, causing the disturbance in Liore, of speaking with Al. Roy and Alex interrupted to ask questions at that point, being the only other alchemists there and wanting to know how Al had managed that.

It was hard to speak of Alfons and how he got sicker as his condition deteriorated. _"…he was always working, telling me it would save me, save him…coughing blood and never sleeping…he wouldn't ease up, it was too important to him…"_

It was harder to tell of how they had been betrayed in their work. _"… found a circle they were trying to use… Dad had been dragged into it…using me as surety for his co-operation…tried to persuade me to complete the circle…Dad…"_

It was nearly impossible to describe the last sacrifice of Hohenheim. _"…Dad fell onto the circle…" _blood falling, dragon roaring, screaming _"…he …the circle was completed… they didn't need me…shot me…" _Even as he spoke, forcing each misleading word out he could feel his stomach churn and swallowed hard.

"Brother?" Al murmured beside him and Ed shook his head.

"When I woke up, I was in one of the rockets we had designed. Apparently the bullet hit my right arm, but it had jarred my shoulder and I'd only passed out from the shock to my nerves. Alfons had put me there. Stupid stubborn idiot. I could hear him coughing because of that. I tried to get him to come with me." _Screamed and yelled and swore at the damned man. _"But… he got shot and the rocket fired." Ed took a deep breath and lowered his head for a moment, blinking hard. "I hope someone took him out of there. He didn't deserve to stay there."

Al wrapped his arms around Ed and no-one spoke.

* * *

Riza Hawkeye couldn't sleep. She lay on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. The day's events still had her unsettled but it was the sight of Ed hiding his face in his brother's shoulder that kept appearing in front of her. She still didn't know how Edward had not broken down then and there. She had seen it in his face, heard it in his voice, how close to breaking he had been. And yet he had managed to keep from letting it out.

And he had not told the whole truth. Even if she hadn't overheard them earlier, she knew Ed well enough to know when he was telling half a story. It was a nagging worry in her mind. Just how bad had it been for him? How did what he had left out tie in with what she had heard? She had told herself not to interfere, not to ask, not to worry about it. Edward had obviously survived and was back. She knew how it had all ended but for some reason she was getting knots in her stomach at not knowing the proper versions of the middle and the beginning.

Riza sighed and rolled over. She missed having Hayate here. Tomorrow she would collect him on her way to the office rather than wait until the evening. She had a feeling she was going to need him around to keep her calm during tomorrow. It was going to be another long day, she knew that. So many questions and problems.

Having both Ed and Roy return was going to make for interesting times. She should probably double her regular ammunition requisitions.

Although Edward had changed. He was quieter. That last time she had seen him, she hadn't quite understood all he and Roy had talked about, it had been his attitude that had startled her. A maturity he had hidden beneath the brashness and stubbornness. That maturity was all over him now and it was just as startling to see. Edward had grown up.

She stopped mid-turn and sat up, her hand slipping under the pillow for her gun. Her eyes narrowed and her head tilted, turning slightly to catch the small noise she had just heard. Silently she slipped from the bed, bare feet treading carefully as she stepped towards the door. It was probably one of the Elrics she thought, but that didn't stop her from easing the door open in the slowest of motions. She was a soldier, it was an instinctive automatic reaction.

Edward. She could see the back of him at the table as her eyes scanned the rest of the room. No-one else in view. She paused, holding her breath and listened. No other noises, just … her eyes went back to look at Edward.

Without thinking she put the gun on the dresser near the door and walked through the dimmed room to stand beside him. She put a hand lightly on his shoulder and an image sprang to mind. How long ago had it been since she had stood like this as a young Ed had sobbed into his arms? She hadn't spoken then and she didn't speak now.

She felt him stiffen at her touch and his muted sobs hitched slightly before he turned and wrapped his arms around her waist, his face buried against her stomach. She stood still for a frozen moment before she slowly placed her hands on his shoulders, sliding them to curve across his upper back. He shuddered and she could feel his tears soaking into her shirt, the cries muffled against her now.

She looked down at him as he kept on crying. She brought one of her hands up to stroke his loose hair, not saying anything, just letting him cry himself out. A small whisper had her looking up and meeting the concerned eyes of Al in the other doorway. They stared at each other for a long moment and then Al smiled slightly before disappearing back into their room.

It was the slackening of Ed's arms around her that told her he had cried himself into sleep. His head pressed heavily against her and his arms slipped down to hang loosely. His breathing was softer and becoming regular. She frowned. He couldn't stay here. She had to get him back to his bed somehow.

She bent her knees slightly and hooked her hands under his arms, straightening up slowly. She nearly jumped as Al suddenly appeared beside her and helped lever Ed from the chair. With Ed between them, they almost dragged him to the other room, letting him slip down onto his bed. Al lifted Ed's legs onto the bed as Riza dragged the covers up. They both saw him curl up, a gentle sigh leaving him as he settled into the bed.

They left the room together.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Al said in the low tones that never carried like a whisper could.

"Call me Riza, Al." She watched him fidget a bit and wondered if Al was upset that Ed had turned to her and not his brother.

Al turned to face the bedroom. "He always pretends to be so strong, he never wants me to see him when he's weak or hurting. Stubborn brother of mine. I know when he's sad or hurt or aching. Just like he knows when I am."

"You have always been close to each other." Riza murmured.

"We will always be close." Al turned his head and looked at her. "He's sad about Dad and about the people he lost over there, and he's feeling guilty and blaming himself. I'm glad you were here for him. He never wants to burden me with his tears. It's the one thing he won't share with me."

"Al…"

"Lieu… Riza. I understand how he feels. I have trouble crying in front of him too."

Riza studied him hearing the sincerity in his voice. The bonds between the two were deep and full of angles she hadn't been aware of. And Al was letting her see it.

"I always have a spare shoulder if you need it, Al." Riza said softly. Even in the dimness she could see Al's smile.

"Thank you."

The silence of the night fell between them. It was comfortable. Concern for Ed connected them and neither found anything wrong with this state of affairs.

"I should be going back to bed." Al said quietly.

"Me too. Good night Al."

"Good night Riza… and thank you."

She waved her hand and smiled, watching as he disappeared into the bedroom. Ed wasn't the only one who had matured, she thought. Al was showing the signs of growth as well. She wondered how much of that was due to Ed's return.

She headed back into her own bedroom, changing her shirt as she realised just how wet it had gotten. She held it in her hands for a moment. Last time she had given him her handkerchief, this time it had been her shirt. He had surprised her with his need for contact this time. Last time she had felt his need for distance, for dispassion. But tonight he had needed to feel someone, to be held almost.

She put the shirt down and got back into bed. Her eyes felt heavy and she slipped into the sleep she had been chasing all night, a lingering memory of how soft his hair had been following her down.

* * *

Author's Note: Back with this one again… I've made a few small changes in the movie's content to make it fit with the conversations Ed has with Al and the story he tells the others... Thank you to all those who reviewed and commented, I really appreciate it…

silken :)

Edited 21/3/08...ffnet deleted line breaks and am working to replace them.. please forgive any delays this causes 


	3. First Day

**Crush**

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor ever will, Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters within

* * *

**Chapter 3: First Day  
**

Smiling faces greeted Riza Hawkeye as she entered the office the next morning. Even Falman looked uncharacteristically happy as she walked to her desk. It was as if the events of yesterday had given them all a new purpose even though they no idea of exactly what that purpose was yet.

"How are they?" Havoc asked as he leant back in his chair.

"Still sleeping." She had been quiet and heard no sounds of them stirring as she had gone about her usual morning routine. She had had no intentions of waking them. She was going to give them what time she could before they had to face the ramifications of yesterday.

"You could have stayed with them, Hawkeye." Breda looked up as he moved a map across. "Someone will have to see they're kept safe until we know what's going on."

"I doubt they will be in actual danger, Breda," Hawkeye replied. "This isn't like four years ago. And the General has more common-sense than most of the Command put together."

"But even he's not going to be able stop the blame machine. It's already started. The word from the Mess is that the State Alchemists are behind this." Breda told her.

"Now there's Military intelligence at work for you," Havoc remarked sarcastically. "A transmutation circle appears all over the sky, so let's blame the alchemists."

"Funny, Havoc," Breda said, rolling his eyes. "It doesn't help that two of the most well-known alchemists suddenly reappear in the middle of everything. They haven't quite gotten far enough along with their gossip to put Ed and the Chief right in the middle of that blame. But I reckon by lunchtime, they will."

"It will take Command a few days to get an official inquiry actually up and running," Hawkeye mused. "By then the rumours would have moved on and become a lot more disconnected from the actual truth. You know how these things go."

"The Stork will get called into …"

"What will I get called into, Second Lieutenant Havoc?"

Havoc froze for a moment before turning around to face the tall, thin man in the doorway. General Jack Storch, known as 'Stork' behind his back to his subordinates stood there. White hair tufted over his head and his face was deceptively young. His long legs and general thinness, not helped by the skinny neck and beak-like nose had led him to receiving his nickname a long time ago.

"Ah..." Havoc scratched at the back of his neck and looked around the room. The others paused as well, unsure of how to react at this moment. One of the last things Mustang had done before leaving had been to ensure they had stayed together, and although they had come to appreciate and even like the General, they had been reluctant to talk too much about old times.

"We were just talking about yesterday, Sir," Hawkeye spoke with her calm manner.

"Yes, I think everyone is discussing it. I would have been more surprised to find you _not_ discussing it," he commented with a wry smile. He looked at them all speculatively and then continued through to the inner office, pulling his coat off as he went. As soon as he hung it up he returned to the outer office. He stood in the doorway and surveyed them for a long moment before he spoke.

"There was a meeting of High Command last night and there will be an inquiry into yesterday's events. Given the fact that you are all under my command and with your past ties with certain persons, I have been informed that while I will be part of the inquiry, all of us will be required to give evidence at it." He smiled at their lack of reaction. "Yes, I didn't think that would be a surprise to anyone. I don't know when this will happen and until it does we are not allowed to leave Central. That includes the Elrics and Corporal Mustang." He looked at his nails for a moment before meeting their eyes again. "I'm sure that you know where they are and can pass that along to them."

He watched as they quickly exchanged glances and smothered his smile. "In regards to Corporal Mustang, technically at the moment he is in violation of his orders because he is not at his assigned post." They stiffened and he could feel the wariness pervade the room. For nearly four years they had been his staff but it was obvious that it had been in name only. Roy Mustang was still the one who owned them body and soul. Jack Storch had known that when he had agreed to have them as his team and he had done nothing to change that. "Charges from dereliction of duty and being absent without leave to inciting a civil disturbance could be levelled against him."

"That's ridiculous!" Breda spluttered.

"I agree, but they were just a few of the possibilities raised last night." General Storch paused. "If you would be so kind as to contact the Corporal and inform him he is required in my office at eleven this morning." He went into his office and closed the door behind him.

Havoc frowned as he stared at the closed door. "What should we do?"

"We tell the Corporal and let him decide," Riza replied in a calm voice.

"You heard what they could charge him with?"

"We all did, Havoc. But if he doesn't appear then things could get worse." She paused. "And you know him, he's not going to run away from this."

"I know." Havoc let his breath out.

"And he didn't say anything about Ed." Breda noticed.

"The Chief is part of the Military, Ed isn't anymore." Havoc shrugged and stood up. "I'll go and tell him."

"If he's awake," Breda grinned at the tall blond.

Havoc grinned back and glanced sideways at Hawkeye. "Unlike someone else's guests, my guest was awake when I left."

Hawkeye looked at him blandly. "Your guest waits until he gets to the office to do his sleeping."

Breda grinned. "And I bet your guest made sure he had the bunk and you got the floor, Havoc."

The others laughed. It had been decided last night that the now Corporal Mustang would share Havoc's dorm until he was able to have one assigned to him. None of them could see their ex-Colonel sleeping anywhere but in the bunk, and leaving Havoc with no choice but the floor.

"I _do_ have a second mattress," Havoc announced stiffly, and the laughter got louder.

"And just how comfortable is that second mattress?" Breda taunted slightly and Havoc drew himself up tall and straight.

"You should know, Breda. You slept on it last time you drank too much and couldn't make it back to your dorm." Havoc turned and left the room as soon as he finished speaking and Breda was left staring after him as the others laughed.

* * *

"Hey Brother."

Edward smiled as he looked at Al as he left the bedroom.

"Hey Al."

"I was thinking you'd be sleeping all day."

"I thought about it." Ed yawned and stretched his way over to the kitchen area. "What are you doing?"

"I was going to make breakfast, but the Lieutenant really doesn't have much here." Al frowned slightly and Ed came closer and stared at the cupboards that were meagrely stocked.

"Well, there is only her and Hayate here. I guess she doesn't need much and there's always the mess at Headquarters," Ed commented and began to frown as well.

"Hey Al…"

"Hey Brother…"

They both spoke at the same time as they turned to look at each other and matching grins crossed their faces.

"Do you still remember the recipe for Pinako's stew?" Al asked and Ed nodded.

"Did Winry ever get that pie recipe?" Ed queried and Al smiled as he nodded in return. "Then all we need is some money."

"I have some and we can even have breakfast out before we shop."

"Sounds good to me." Ed briefly placed his left hand on Al's shoulder before heading back to the bedroom to get dressed.

"What about Winry?" Al called after him.

"We can get her after we've had breakfast. Last thing I want is a lecture on my eating habits to start the day with. Taking her shopping with us is going to be enough of an ordeal as it is." Ed grinned and waved a casual hand over his shoulder as he entered the room and Al grinned. It was good to know that Ed was back, to know that if he opened that now closed door, his brother was going to still be there. He wasn't going to disappear. Al wasn't going to lose his brother again. Ed suddenly stuck his head out of the door. "Hey Al, where's Winry staying anyway?"

"She went to Schieska's last night."

"Okay." Ed disappeared again and then reappeared abruptly. "Do we remember where that is?"

"_I_ know where it is, Brother," Al answered and then blinked as Ed disappeared again. He walked across and opened the door. "Why are you asking me?"

Ed was pulling his shirt on and kept his back to the door as he replied. "Because I can't remember where it is." He looked over his shoulder. "I was only there once, or maybe twice I think."

Al shook his head and Edward turned around, doing the last buttons up on his shirt and picking up his coat. He smiled at his brother. "It'll take me a few days to remember where everything is again, Al."

"You… _we_ never spent much time in Central back then." Al stated and Ed paused for a moment before nodding.

"You've spent more time here than I have Al." Ed's smile faded and his forehead creased. "It's going to take a while until I feel like I'm back I guess."

"But you are back, Brother." Al walked over and wrapped his arms around Ed. "And you're not going to leave me behind again."

Ed closed his eyes for a moment as he hugged Al and kept them closed until the slight prickling had gone. "No, I'm staying this time."

* * *

Havoc opened his dormitory door and was confronted by a shirtless ex-Colonel going through his shirt drawer. Havoc had a quick glance around his room. His bunk had been made, the spare mattress pushed back under it, there was a damp towel hanging over the end of the bed frame and black skivvies were piled messily in the drawer. It was obvious his temporary room-mate had been looking through his drawer thoroughly.

"Why do you only have one shirt, Havoc?" Roy asked as he held up Havoc's shirt with one hand and a black skivvy with the other. "You seem to have nothing but skivvies."

"Because I only need one for dress occasions." Havoc swallowed hard and then shut the door carefully behind him. "Besides, shirts are for Colonels and higher, the rest of us have the skivvies."

"It's all creased," Roy remarked as he tossed it back into the open drawer. "And even as a Major I wore a shirt."

"No comment, Sir," Havoc replied blandly and the dark eye sharpened as Roy caught the dry undertone. Havoc leant against the back of the door. "Why are you going through my clothes anyway?"

"Because I need a clean shirt." Roy paused and then half-turned his head to look at him. "I left most of my stuff up North."

"You have that habit," Havoc replied lightly and Roy's eye flickered.

"I saw them," was all he said and both men avoided looking at the boxes stacked in the corner of the room.

"We all have some of them," Havoc continued and Roy's face darkened slightly. Havoc took a deep breath. "You didn't honestly expect us to do as you said and destroy it all, did you?"

Roy looked away and sighed before he looked back to meet the clear blue eyes. "No I guess I didn't." He lifted his hand and pointed at the boxes without looking at them. "But I didn't expect them to be _here_ either!"

Havoc began to smile. "Where else were we going to put them, Chief?" He stepped away from the wall and walked across to his single chair, turning it around before straddling it as he sat down, arms hanging over the back of it. Roy's eye followed him, his head turning to be looking over his shoulder at the blond. "You tell us you're leaving and to throw out all your stuff? Of course we were going to keep them. You didn't expect us to believe that you would never return?"

Roy opened his mouth to speak but closed it. Havoc was looking at him and there was a disconcerting look of comprehension in that direct gaze. "We all know how stubborn you were about staying," and they both recalled the time Havoc had gone there, almost begging for him to return. "But we also knew you would come back eventually."

A wry expression crossed Roy's face as he turned his head and looked down into the drawer. They had – they did still know him well. Working together for so long had given them all an understanding of each other and as much as he had learnt about them, they had learnt about him. And things had changed between them now. He heard it every time they stumbled over what to call him. He saw it when they reacted in the old ways before they would suddenly remember the new state of affairs and everything became awkward for a moment.

And Jean Havoc would never have spoken as he just had four years ago. Havoc had had little problem with what to call him because he had rarely called Mustang anything but 'Chief', and that hadn't changed. But Havoc had changed in other ways. Roy had noticed it yesterday and it was evident today. Somewhere over the last few years Jean Havoc had managed to gain some self-confidence. Not the flaunting obvious kind, but the deeper, quieter acceptance within of just who and what he was.

Roy held up one the black skivvies. "Then you won't mind me borrowing this."

"Well, you can't front up to the General the way you're dressed now, can you…Corporal?" Havoc drawled and Roy half turned with a glare.

"The General?"

"Yep, the Stork wants you in his office at eleven."

"About yesterday, I presume."

"Yes and we're all confined to Central while they hold an inquiry."

"That was to be expected," Roy replied as he pulled the skivvy over his head. "What about Ed?"

"The same. Restricted to Central. The General didn't say anything else about him, I guess they're concentrating on you first."

"That's not surprising." Roy turned around and walked over to the table, tucking in the too large skivvy as he went. "I'm an easier problem to solve. Ed's return is going to have them very worried indeed."

"Because of how he returned?"

"Precisely."

* * *

Edward smiled as he watched Al and Winry argue. They appeared to be arguing over carrots while shoppers bustled around them in the middle of the Central Markets. Everything seemed so normal and yet it was strange as well. As if he was still in one of the dreams he had often had on the other side. Despite knowing that he was back home, that that really was his brother and best friend mere steps away and that he wasn't asleep, he felt displaced. He didn't have his bearings yet. This was a strange place for all its familiarity.

On the way to Schieska's he had been looking all around trying to recall memories, trying to recognise landmarks and it hadn't been until they were a street away that he had known where he was. The same thing had happened as they had gone to the Markets. Only when he got near had he been able to place the landmarks around him. It wasn't the same as being in a strange new city, he knew what that felt like. This was more disconcerting because he felt that he should remember everything, because this was _home_.

"Edward!" Winry's voice broke through his thoughts and he looked at her. "What are you doing with _that_?" She pointed and he looked at the bottle in his hands.

"I'm carrying it," he replied casually knowing exactly why she was staring wide-eyed at him.

"It's _milk_!"

"And the stew needs it," he shrugged.

"The stew doesn't need that much," Al pointed out.

"But Hawkeye takes milk in her coffee," Ed replied. "And she doesn't have any left after last night." He looked from one to the other. "Just because I don't like it doesn't meant I'm going to stop those that do."

"The sight of you even getting this close to milk is amazing, Ed," Winry remarked.

"It's in a sealed bottle, Win. It can't get me." Ed grinned as he held the bottle up and shook it threateningly at her and she batted her hand in his direction.

"You're being silly now."

"And arguing over carrots isn't?" Ed queried and both Winry and Al looked a bit sheepish. "Come on, just grab a couple and we're nearly done."

"Why are you doing this, Ed?" Winry asked as she stood beside him and watched Al choose the carrots.

"Because she's giving us somewhere to stay. We can't just stay there and do nothing in return, Win. That'd be selfish of us."

"But cooking dinner?"

"I know it's not much, but she's at work all day. It's not going to be easy for her or any of them for the next few days. Cooking dinner is something Al and I can do to say thanks."

"The Lieutenant will appreciate that." Winry nodded. "She always seems so busy." She looped her arm through Ed's and tugged. "Come on, Al's finished now and we have a pie to bake as well."

* * *

Hawkeye put the phone down with a slight frown.

"No-one there?" Breda asked.

"No." Hawkeye shook her head. "They're either still asleep or gone out."

"They probably went out. I can't see Ed sleeping in this late." Breda looked at the clock. It was after ten-thirty. "They wouldn't go too far."

"I know."

"I wouldn't put it past Ed to turn up in the office," Breda commented and they all smiled even as they realised the problems that would cause.

The sound of boots coming closer had them sitting up straight and looking towards the door. Quick looks went between them. The footsteps were just too much a coincidence after Breda's words.

"They wouldn't really come here, would they?" Fuery asked in his quiet manner.

"No," Hawkeye responded but kept her eyes on the door and when the two soldiers entered they found everyone staring at them.

A dark eyebrow rose at the expectant expressions that fell slightly as he and Havoc appeared. "Not what you were expecting?" Roy Mustang queried as he entered, his manner as commanding as it had always been despite the Corporal boards on his shoulders.

"We were hoping for the Elrics, but you'll do Chief," Breda grinned as he leant back in his chair.

"Still chasing cheap thrills, Breda?" Havoc asked as he headed to his own desk.

"The best kind," Breda smirked at him.

"Why would the Elrics come here?" Mustang asked as he leant against the door frame.

"No reason, except that they're not answering the phone at Hawkeye's," Breda told him.

"They most likely went out," Falman said.

"They probably went to see Miss Rockbell," Roy stated calmly. "After four years away, catching up with his family would be Edward's first concern."

Riza Hawkeye stayed silent and watched them. It was interesting to see Roy joining in the conversation so casually. Gone was the air of restraint he had always kept around him. Compared to the tight lipped, pale faced man who had left them nearly three and half years ago, the confident, almost casual man standing there was a stranger.

"Corporal Mustang." The General's voice came from his door and Roy straightened up, turning and saluting, his face suddenly wiped clean of emotion. "You're early. Come through."

"Yes Sir." Roy nodded and walked into the General's office closing the door behind him without looking back.

"You think he'll be okay?" Havoc asked slowly.

""He'll be fine, Havoc." Hawkeye replied equally slowly and they all stared at the closed door.

* * *

"It's good to see you again," General Storch said as he sat down and waved a hand at the chair in front of his desk.

"And you, Sir." Mustang walked forward and remained standing. Storch looked at him and a smile crossed his face.

"Still so proud I see."

"Yes Sir."

"Bad news is always best heard on your feet I guess." Storch leant back in his chair. "As of today you are restricted to Central Headquarters. You are not allowed to leave the complex without written authority by me and you are to be accompanied by at least one other officer. Until the Inquiry into your actions and the events of yesterday has reached its decision you are required to abide by these rules or face immediate court martial and imprisonment for the duration of the Inquiry. Do you understand so far, Mustang?"

"Yes Sir."

"Good. Do you agree to these conditions?"

"Yes Sir."

"Good." General Storch reached and opened his desk drawer. With a quick flick of his hand a silver watch slid across the polished wood of his desk. "This is yours, I believe."

Roy's plain gloved hands tightened at his sides as he saw the watch appear and he had to take a steadying breath before he could respond.

"It looks like mine."

"Will you accept it back?"

Roy looked at the General with a wide eye before he could control himself. "To what end, General?"

"A Major has more chance of surviving than a Corporal does."

* * *

Edward looked at the bubbling stew with a sense of satisfaction. It looked good and it smelt even better. Al and Winry were finishing off the pie with another argument as to whether the excess pastry should be used as decoration or not. He sighed, they'd been arguing nearly all day and it was unsettling. Al and Winry had always gotten on so well, it had been him who'd always managed to rile Winry. He didn't understand it and he wasn't about to get involved. Well, not yet anyway.

He drew in a deep breath of the fragrant stew and smiled. He hoped Hawkeye liked this. He was a bit nervous about seeing her again. He hadn't seen her since he had wept against her during the night and he didn't know if he had offended her or not. The last time she had seen him cry she had laid a hand on his shoulder, last night he had wrapped himself around her. The need to hold on to something, _someone_, had been overwhelming.

He remembered how warm she had felt, how soft her touch had been and how comfortable he had felt. He was a bit unsure how he had gotten back to his bed and he didn't want to ask Al. The thought that Al might have witnessed him being so weak was an irrational worry and he knew that. But he didn't want Al to think he regretted being back here. He smiled. As if he could regret being here with everyone again. Especially Al. _And Hawkeye _a little voice whispered in his mind and he frowned slightly.

He stirred the stew absently. It had been a long time ago, that crush he had had. And he was fairly certain he had long given up hope of anything developing from it. But he remembered the twinge he had felt when he had seen her standing next to Mustang. That had been strange and he hadn't been able to find a way to explain it yet. He had been avoiding thinking about it and he tried to distract himself by looking over at Al and Winry.

"Al says I can't stay for dinner!" Winry told him as soon as she saw him looking at them. Ed turned to Al.

"It wouldn't be polite, Brother. We can't just invite people into the Lieutenant's house without asking her first." Al pointed out.

"She won't mind, Al. She knows I'm part of the family," Winry said before Ed could say anything. Ed sighed, hadn't he decided not to get involved in their arguments not more than five minutes ago.

"But it's our first night here. It would be more mannerly to wait a few days," Al protested. "We can't impose on the Lieutenant."

"Then in that case, I'll invite you and Ed _and _Miss Hawkeye to dinner with me and Schieska tomorrow night." Winry shot back at him before adding triumphantly. "And then you'll have to reciprocate. Right?"

Edward sighed again and looked back at the stew. Thoughts of Hawkeye might just be the safer option at the moment.

* * *

Riza Hawkeye lifted her head up at the smells pervading the hallway outside her apartment. She felt the tugging at her hand as Black Hayate began to run ahead obviously captivated by the same smells. She smiled and shook her head.

"Someone's eating well tonight," she murmured and shifted the bag in her other hand. She had stopped on her way home to get a few provisions. She knew she didn't have much in her cupboards and with two extra mouths to feed she was going to have to get more tomorrow.

It was only after she opened her door and found a laid table and saw the large pot on her stove that she realised the smells had been coming from her apartment.

"Welcome home Lieutenant." Al smiled at her from the couch just as Edward entered from the bedroom. His smile was more hesitant but before she could say anything, Black Hayate tugged hard and she let go of the leash as he went running towards Al with a happy bark.

"Hi Hawkeye," Edward said as he came close. "Um, you want I should put the shopping away?"

"Edward… thank you." She smiled at him and the shadow slipped from his face and his smile was easier as he took the bag from her.

"Al and I already took care of dinner tonight."

"I could smell it from the hall." She moved closer to have a look at it. "And it looks delicious."

Ed grinned at her. "It tastes even better." He picked up a spoon he had been using earlier and scooped a bit out of the pot for her to taste. His hand shook slightly and she placed her fingers over his to hold it steady. For a split second they both stopped moving and it was as if time had slowed before they both blinked and they both started breathing again.

* * *

Author's Note: This poor fic, it gets pushed aside by the others all too often… and the dragon and the cat have been trying to get at me all day… smiles… but it's here and hopefully it hasn't been forgotten by everyone, and I shall probably be at the mercy of cat and dragon for the next week now… grins…

Thank you to everyone for your patience …

silken :)


	4. Settling In

**Crush**

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor ever will, Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters within

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**Chapter 4: Settling In  
**

Riza sipped at the stew on the spoon and was pleased to find the taste was as delicious as the smell. She stepped away, letting Edward go back to stirring it.

"It tastes lovely," she said as she watched the meat and vegetables shifting in the thick stock. The strange moment of awareness slipped away.

"It's Aunt Pinako's recipe," Al said as he looked over from where he was playing with Hayate.

"I can smell pie too," Riza remarked as she inhaled the smells from the stove again.

"Mrs Hughes' recipe," Ed replied. "Winry made it."

"You should have invited her to stay," Riza said and became curious as Edward looked at Al and raised his eyebrow. The colour that Al's face acquired had her looking between the two.

"Al thought we'd be imposing if we did that on this first night." Ed's voice was non-committal and he didn't take his eyes off of Al.

"It wouldn't be an imposition. She's your family." Riza saw the colour on Al's face deepen slightly and he looked away to concentrate on Hayate again. Riza turned to Ed and saw her curiousity reflected in his eyes.

"She did invite us and you to have dinner with her and Schieska tomorrow." Ed put the spoon to one side and moved to begin putting away the shopping he had taken from her. "Ah, bread. That's what I wanted to have with the stew. We forgot to get it when we were shopping."

"You're rather domestic aren't you Edward?" Riza remarked with a light questioning air and it was with amusement she saw his face go slightly pink before he turned away to hide it.

"I kinda learnt while I was away. We took turns and … my housemate used it as a way to teach me the language." Ed smiled slightly. Alfons had also been as bad as he was when it came to forgetting to eat when buried deep in research and they had often gone hungry until one of them would remember. Alfons had only really started teaching him in self-defence. Ed's first attempts had been costly both to their wallets and their health. It had taken Ed some time to completely appreciate exactly just how careful and frugal they had to be because of the economic depression. And neither had wanted to suffer through another bout of food poisoning.

"You do it very well," Riza replied with an answering smile. "How much longer will it be?"

"About fifteen minutes."

"I'll get changed and get Hayate fed, otherwise he'll be wanting some of this too."

"I can do that," Al offered, lifting Hayate up and coming over to them. "I saw where all of his stuff was earlier."

"Thank you Alphonse. That would be very helpful."

"We'll take care of it. You go and do what you need to, Hawkeye." Ed neatly shooed her from the kitchen area and she entered her bedroom with a smile still on her face. It was nice to come home and have someone here. With quick movements she gathered up a change of clothes, deciding that fifteen minutes was plenty of time to have a quick shower in as well. The smell of the stew followed her to the bathroom and she realised that while having someone to come home was good, it was better if they could cook too.

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"So how was the office today?" Ed asked around a mouthful of stew, somehow speaking clearly despite the bulge in one cheek.

"Brother!" Al scolded with his own mouth half-full. "Don't talk with your mouth full!"

Edward looked at him, eyebrows raised and Al obligingly blushed. They both swallowed hurriedly and laughed at each other. Riza smiled at them. It was obvious they were happy and enjoying themselves and it was good to see them slip back into the old almost childish behaviours. It certainly highlighted just how much they had both grown up over the last years.

"You'll see how the office is when you come in tomorrow, Edward," Riza said. "The General wants to see you."

"Me?" Edward looked at her and after a moment of wide-eyed surprise he nodded. "I guess it's to be expected. After what happened yesterday, they'll want to have an inquiry."

"This is just to meet General Storch. The full Inquiry has started but they're in the setting up stage at the moment."

"Great," Ed sighed. "They're going to want us to front up at this Inquiry, aren't they?"

"Eventually yes. All of us, and that includes you two, will be called to it."

"And they'll want us to stay here until it all happens, won't they?" Ed asked with a slightly cynical edge to his voice.

"Yes." Hawkeye nodded. "The General told us today that we are to remain in Central for the duration, and that does include both of you."

"I hope they don't take too long. Now I'm back, there are a few people I really want to see again."

"I think they will hurry it as much as they can. People will want to know what happened. Times have changed here and the Parliament will be demanding answers from the Military."

"Does the Military have to answer?" Ed asked, not sure of how things worked in this new Amestris. Al hadn't told him much about the new political structure, they'd had other things to talk about.

"Yes." Riza looked at him. "We are nominally under Parliament's control now."

"Nominally?" Ed's eyebrow rose and he smirked slightly. "So, they don't share everything do they?" he paused and looked at Al.

"But it would make it simpler and easier all round if we told the truth," Al replied slowly. Riza concentrated on her meal for a moment but didn't miss the look that passed between the brothers. The truth according to Elric was not going to be the complete truth. There were some things she just knew they wouldn't be sharing. And she didn't blame them after what she had heard last night.

"We can do that," Ed said with a small grin and they nodded at each other. Later they'd work out exactly how truthful they would be.

"The General is a good man, Brother," Al said after a small pause. "He'll do his best for us."

"Really?" Ed looked sceptical and Al and Riza both smiled at him. Some things didn't change and Ed's mistrust of the military was still evident.

"Yes. He gave me a Military Travel Pass and allowed me access to the Libraries and other places, just like before."

Ed looked a bit blank. "But you said Hawkeye and everyone was helping you?"

"We were, Edward. But we couldn't have done it without the General's endorsement."

"But… so does that mean he knows what happened? What we did?" Edward looked at them, feeling uneasy. Al shook his head even as Riza spoke.

"No. Like most people he believes you were a child prodigy with a talent for alchemy and that you were stubborn enough to join to prove that."

Ed groaned. "That makes me sound like an arrogant brat."

Riza smiled. "That's what you were, Edward. Despite those very personal reasons behind your choice, it was your arrogance and the self-confidence you had with it that made you join and it kept you going. It also made you fierce enough that people didn't question _you_ too much."

Ed tilted his head as he caught the nuance. "Did they question you?" he asked with a frown.

"We used to get quite a few calls while you were away on assignments." Riza's voice was dry and Ed groaned again. Al laughed.

"That's probably how the bastard always knew where I was," Ed grumbled.

"It did help," Riza smiled.

"He's going to have to face this Inquiry too isn't he?" Ed asked.

"Yes. Major Mustang has already been notified." Ed choked on his mouthful and had to cover his mouth as he coughed. Al stared at Hawkeye with his mouth and eyes wide. Riza smiled, well pleased with their reactions.

Ed wiped his mouth with his food-splattered glove. "_Major what_? Are you joking? He's a Major now? Wasn't he just a Corporal yesterday? That's a fast promotion, even for him."

"As a Major, he'll have a better chance with the charges against him."

"What charges?"

"Going AWOL, abandoning his post, even involving civilians in a military matter. Although no official charges have been levelled at him as yet, there are plenty they could try and the Inquiry will certainly determine which ones he'll have to face."

"He'll find a way out of it," Ed remarked once he managed to get past his surprise. "Mustang's sneaky."

"It's not so simple Edward," Hawkeye said sombrely. "He's been isolated and withdrawn these last few years, he has little support in Central and those that do remember him aren't going to think favourably about him. There was a lot of talk when you disappeared and he was injured." Riza eyed them meaningfully and Ed's eyes flickered.

"Guess we'll need to have a talk about all that some time," he said slowly and she nodded.

"Yes." Her lips curved slightly. "Maybe tomorrow while you're at Headquarters we can organise something. At the moment he's restricted to Headquarters and has to be accompanied by someone at all times." Edward blinked and looked at Al before they both looked at her.

"Which poor sap did they get to do that?"

"Havoc."

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Jean Havoc lifted the box and placed it on the others making sure the pile didn't wobble and pushed them back into the corner.

"Last one," Mustang said from behind him and he turned to accept the last box. Once it was placed, he turned around wiping his dusty hands across the side of his legs.

"It looks neat," he remarked as he studied the room. "Reckon you can keep it neat, Chief?"

Roy Mustang shrugged slightly, a small smirk on his face as he looked around. Because havoc had been appointed to watch him as the Military's official watchdog, he'd been given a new dormitory. From a one man room to a two man dorm. Roy scoffed mentally. The only difference he could see was the double bunk instead of the single cot and the room was probably a foot wider than the old one. He looked at the small wardrobe.

"I need to collect a second uniform and to get the new insignia sewn on to this one," he said as he calculated the space he would have.

"You're going to want extra shirts too aren't you?" Havoc queried as he pulled out a drawer.

"Yes." Roy shifted his shoulders. The skivvy he had borrowed wasn't uncomfortable, but he was too used to the shirts.

Havoc shrugged. "Well, in that case you can have most of the hanging space and I'll take an extra half-drawer here."

Roy nodded. He watched Havoc filling up a drawer with his skivvies. A blink of his eye had him frozen for the briefest moment and his breath caught. For that split second the tall frame of Havoc had become the lanky length of Maes Hughes. The way Havoc swivelled as he moved to place his clothes in neat folded piles was so reminiscent that Roy had to consciously think of breathing again. He let his breath out silently and turned away. That had been unexpected and slightly unnerving. He hadn't shared a dorm in a long time and the last person he had shared with had been Maes. He tried to shrug it off as just a mental association and sought to distract himself.

"Top or bottom?" he asked without looking at Havoc.

"Huh?" Havoc looked across at Mustang and wondered why he was frowning.

"The bunk, Havoc. Do you want to be top or bottom?"

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Ed dried another bowl and put it away. He watched as Riza washed the cutlery they had used and grabbed another wet but clean bowl. She had insisted on washing the dishes because they had cooked and Ed had sent Al to the shower and grabbed the cloth to do the drying.

They worked in silence and Ed found himself thinking back to that singular moment. It had been strange and almost frightening because of that. When he had first known he had a crush on her, he had kept a distance between them. Not close enough to touch, just close enough to watch. At first he had swung from embarrassment to euphoria simply from a single glance or word so he had stepped back, hoping that a bit of distance would help bring him some balance. It had but it had taken a while and the longer he had watched, the more determined he had been to keep it hidden. It had been a dream he knew would never come true and he had found a strength because of it. He _had_ to make the other dreams come true but this one was the star that he was never going to get. The one thing that would always be unattainable. Because you always had to have one unrealised dream. It was what kept you going, even if the urgency had long disappeared and there was nothing left but the memory of once wanting it.

It was weird to be standing in her kitchen and helping with something as simple as the dishes. For the first time he didn't feel as if he was still a child compared to her. She had never treated him as one but he had always seen her as so mature and adult that it had been yet another reason to remain silent. He knew she was ten years older than he was and at fourteen that had been a big difference. But now he was twenty and the gap didn't seem so large. Maybe because she hadn't changed. She looked exactly as he remembered her.

"Are you alright?" Riza's voice had him blinking and looking at her. She smiled at his slightly dazed expression. He'd obviously been thinking deeply, just standing and staring, and hadn't noticed that she had finished doing the dishes. From the blankness of his face it was highly probable that he hadn't even realised he'd been staring at her.

"Yeah. I was just uh…thinking." She wondered if that was a blush on his cheeks. She was almost certain his face was becoming pink. He moved abruptly, putting the bowl away and grabbing a handful of the wet cutlery.

"Don't worry," Riza said with an easy smile, fairly certain she knew where his thoughts had been. "We'll do all we can to make sure no real trouble comes to you or Al." She was surprised by the startled expression he gave her and the deepening pink as his blush became obvious. Her eyes flickered as she realised she could have been wrong. Perhaps he hadn't been thinking about Al after all. But there was nothing else she could think of that would have him so lost in thought. The conversation during dinner should have had him falling into the old pattern of always thinking of Al and his safety and well-being above all else. There was Roy but she knew Ed wouldn't get _that_ spaced out about him. She frowned slightly. There just wasn't anyone else that she could think of.

Ed felt his face getting hot and knew he was blushing and he couldn't stop it. He looked away but then had to look back. There was a thoughtful look in her eyes that was becoming puzzled as she watched and she began to frown. He didn't have a clue what she was thinking and he began to worry that his earlier thoughts about her were evident on his face.

"Uh, last night…" The first words he could think of echoed between them and he groaned before he could finish the sentence. His hand tightened on the cutlery and he winced as it stung suddenly. He looked at his hand and loosened his grip and a line of red sprang up across his palm. "Shit," Ed cursed, feeling like a complete idiot and moving to wind the cloth around it.

"Stop, Edward. Let me see." Riza reached for his hand and he reluctantly extended it.

"It's just a small cut." Embarrassment coloured his voice and face and her fingers were gentle as she kept him from curling his hand into a fist to hide it.

"Yes, it doesn't look very deep at all. It's stopped bleeding already." Her fingers tightened as he made to pull away and she looked up at him. It made her pause for a moment. She hadn't realised that he was a few inches taller than her now. "As for last night… nothing needs to be said."

For a moment it looked as if he would object but she was surprised to see a small smile curve his lips and he eased his hand away from her grip. "Yes, you're right." It was the sound and look of understanding and acceptance, and by the time she recognised it he had already turned and gone back to drying the cutlery.

A changeling she thought. One moment he had appeared a blushing teen, the next he was demonstrating an unexpected maturity. He hadn't seen her reply as brushing him off, he had seen it for what it was. There was no need to discuss last night. He had needed her and she had been there, just like last time. She wondered why she should find it unexpected. She had seen him grow up and there had been an age beyond his years in his eyes at times. Back then he hadn't been able to, or perhaps not willing to share it. She had seen it last night and she saw it again tonight. This grown up mature Edward.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"You grew up," Riza replied unguardedly and without thinking, the puzzled self-conscious sound of Ed's voice slipping seamlessly into her thoughts. Ed was too surprised to blush as his eyes and mouth opened and it was Riza who suddenly felt her face grow warm. Years of self-control came to her aid and a charming smile appeared on her face.

"Yeah," Ed replied feeling dubious and wondering why that smile didn't seem as genuine as the earlier ones had been. What could have been a blush disappeared as quickly as it appeared and he was left feeling more confused than before. He tried to find a reason for it, running through the knowledge he had of Hawkeye's behaviour and actions. He had watched her for four years, he had seen her react and act under all sorts of conditions, but nothing seemed to match her behaviour at this moment. He had seen that smile before. She had used it to cover whatever she was really thinking about and it stung slightly to think she had used it against him just now. And she was leaving the kitchen area and going over to where Hayate was laying on the couch. It was almost as if she was retreating and that thought held him motionless for a moment before he looked away. Damn it, where were all these strange thoughts coming from?

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Major Roy Mustang lay on the bottom bunk, closing his eye as his breath went out and then opened it again to stare at the silver watch dangling from his fingers. Havoc seemed to prefer sleeping with the curtains open and the dim light from a slivered moon and clear sky gave the room a shadowy rather than dark feel. His watch seemed to attract what light there was and it almost glowed at him. He hadn't thought to ever hold it again.

He had left it behind along with everything else when he had gone to that little watch post. And he didn't regret it. He had needed it and he felt a small yearning to be back there. He had grown to appreciate the serenity and silence although he wasn't going to admit that he had started talking to himself sometimes. After all a man could only take so much silence. But it hadn't been as lonely as everyone had predicted. There had been times when he had felt lonely and even abandoned even though it had been his choice to go there, but he had never felt the deep regret he had half-expected to feel.

He flicked the watch open and it clicked deceptively loudly in the night. He closed it with another loud click. He'd never worn it openly, his gloves had taken its place as the symbols of his talents. Talents he had been proud of and also completely destroyed by. It had saved him in the end, but it had cost him more than he had ever imagined. Ishbal had taken away his self-respect and it had taken years to get it back, only to lose it along with everything else on that fateful night. He hadn't even had his best friend to help him through it, although Maes hadn't exactly given him a choice back then. He hadn't wanted to burden anyone and no-one had pushed as hard as Maes would have done, so he had been free to run and hide.

But he was back now and he had his old watch in front of him and in one of those boxes in the corner of this new dorm he knew his old gloves were packed as well. "There's chalk there too, I don't need them…" he murmured. Accepting the watch was one thing, wearing those gloves might be just a bit too much for the hierarchy to accept just yet. He rolled over, his fingers curling around his watch and holding it close as he closed his eye and reached for sleep.

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Riza woke to the smell of bacon and eggs and the impatient nibbling of her toes from an obviously hungry dog. She grinned at the almost slobbering dog and snagged her wrap from its hanger by the wardrobe before opening the door to let Hayate out. She could hear him bounding to the kitchen as she tied the belt and looked across to see Al cooking as Hayate rubbed against his legs.

"He's just like a large cat," Al said happily as he saw her appear. "Good morning."

"Good morning Al, although he should be better behaved," she replied with a stern look at her pet. Hayate tilted his head looking from his mistress to his old friend. He padded almost sheepishly back to his mistress but as soon as she smiled and patted him, he was back to Al and the delicious smells. "He's going to get spoilt," she noted.

"I'll be careful," Al promised and Riza kept smiling. There was no way Al was ever going to keep that promise and they both knew it. He spoilt Hayate every time he was in Central.

"Bathroom's free," Ed announced as he entered the room.

"Just in time for breakfast, Brother."

"G'morning Hawkeye," Ed said as he noticed her there.

It was amazing what a difference a day had made she thought as she looked at them. They were comfortable being here. Comfortable being here in her apartment with her. Al wasn't asking before doing things and Ed seemed to own the place as he walked to see what Al had cooked. They were no longer guests, not that she had ever wanted them to feel that way. Now they were seeing this as a home. How many of these transient homes had they had over the years she wondered. Perhaps that was why they managed to adjust so quickly. They were used to it. 'Home' had probably lost all real meaning for them and it had become just a word to describe wherever they happened to be staying.

"Good morning Edward," she replied and went to join them in the kitchen.

It was only when they were leaving to go to the office that she realised she didn't find their increasing takeover of _her_ home uncomfortable or upsetting.

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Edward was glad to reach the office and get away from all the eyes that seemed to follow him. From the moment he had entered Headquarters he was positive that everyone was looking at him. And Ed knew it wasn't his imagination. Heads turned, soldiers stopped and stared and some even backed away. All in all it was not pleasant and he welcomed the security of the office once they got there.

"What was all that staring for?" he asked the minute the door closed behind them.

"Hey Ed." Breda waved and grinned. "You got stared at?"

"Yeah. It was weird. I haven't had people stare at me like that since…" Ed paused. "I've _never_ had people look at me like that. Not even after I passed the State exam."

"They aren't used to seeing people come back to life, Edward," Falman said calmly with a rare smile. Ed blinked at him.

"Huh?" He turned to Al "I thought you said I was just missing?"

"Well, yes." Al couldn't quite meet his brother's eyes and Ed began to frown.

"Alphonse?" His voice sounded flat and the unspoken demand was clear.

"The Military likes to account for all its personnel, Ed, so we had to have you listed as missing, presumed dead," Riza interjected as Al fidgeted. Ed looked at her.

"We had a nice memorial service for you," Breda remarked. Ed's head turned to focus on Breda.

"I'm having a little bit of trouble following this now," he said slowly. "Why would I need a memorial service if I was only missing?"

"After three years they changed it to dead, so we buried you." Breda's grin widened.

"I'm listed as _dead_?" Ed gaped for a long moment before he managed to get control again.

"Only officially, Brother. I never thought you were dead." Al spoke trying to be reassuring but Edward found it unnerving to be considered officially dead. You weren't supposed to be alive when everyone thought otherwise. It would explain the staring, but it was also meant that it would take time before they did stop staring. How much novelty value did coming back from the dead have anyway, he wondered. Not too much he hoped. The sooner everyone got used to him being back the better. He just hoped they never found out that he really _had_ died and come back.

"You have a nice headstone if you want to go and visit," Breda couldn't help but tease and Ed glowered at him.

"I'll make sure yours is equally nice in a minute," he threatened the unrepentant redhead.

"At least we could go and visit you easily even if you weren't there, Boss, unlike _someone else_," Havoc's cheery voice interrupted them and Ed turned to see the tall blond entering. Ed smirked as he saw a frowning Mustang following behind.

"Major bastard," Ed's smirk grew. "You always were a major bastard."

"How unoriginal of you, Ed," Mustang replied with an answering smirk. "I see time and even a bit of height hasn't sharpened your wits any."

The others began to smile. It had been too long since they had seen this and it was a welcome sight. The vicious edge Edward had sometimes had to his insults was gone and he appeared to be enjoying himself as he responded. Both men smirked and Riza was amused by the similarity of their smirks. It was clear from where Ed had learnt that particular expression.

"The office is certainly getting lively now." General Storch's appearance had them both stopping and turning, Mustang saluting and Ed giving the stranger an appraising look. The rest of the office stood to attention with a chorus of 'good morning General' and Al stepped to be right behind his brother.

Ed and General Storch eyed each other carefully before the General moved further into the office.

"Come through Edward Elric. We have much to discuss."

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Author's Note: Thank you to everyone for being so patient with me… writing has become something of a problem lately… I either can't get the time or I get interrupted… I think I need to sell my kids or change my job to get the free time again...lol…

Strange... it's eating my line breaks so i've put in dashed lines...

I must be a yaoi-girl at heart because the Roy/Jean bunny is hopping around me… if Roy can't have Ed, Jean just seems to be the next best thing… grins… but I'm not sure whether to indulge this bunny yet…

Thank you all again…

silken :)


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